I am sorry that things didn't go well today, Hamster Girl.

Please don't give up on your life.

I had a friend with muscular dystrophy, completely confined to a wheelchair, had to lift a glass with both hands. And he was one of the most balanced and cheerful people I've ever met.

I know on the outside it looked to people like a pretty girl was going to cheer up old Al, but the truth was, I was depressed person going to Al for comfort and inspiration.

Not everyone wants a room full of people in conversation and laughter all the time, like Alan did. He was an extrovert, and I am an introvert. You probably are, too, Hamster Girl.

But Al will always live in my memory as an example of a person who builds a life of love and laughter for himself, even though he needed help for everything, even to go to the bathroom.

IDepression is so hard to live with, like an awful demon that sucks out a person's will to live and thrive and have fun and joy and delight in life.

I read an article online yesterday that suggested, when we feel that we just can stand anymore pain, we can shift that energy by subtly changing the message we give ourselves to "I can barely stand anymore pain." That has been helping me to change my thinking just that little bit.

I am in a lot of pain and confusion, too. I even had to find homes for my dogs.

I wish I could be there with you, even just to sit in silence and have a cup of tea, and know that there is someone out there who will share the burden of pain and understands.