Hi All --

Thank you, Skye and KD, for bringing up how that praise is a gift to ourselves, as well, and helps ME both recognize something positive in my life -- and experience that moment of positivity.

The best thing for me is that my mother responded so quickly to the praise approach. She is dying of emphysema, will not stop smoking, and I am going to miss her. For most of my life, I could not have said that. I either would have been relieved or so distant in a protective shell.

Perhaps she, too, realized that we don't have much time left. I held out tiny straws to signal what I wanted from her -- her nurturing words instead of criticism of all the things that I could do better, right, etc. I could not do more, really, than offer straws, because I am not exactly masterful at human relationships myself. Grin. But she took them, and I have to give her a lot of credit for being able to change and adapt in her 80s. We will never be The Gilmore Girls, but things are much better.

I hope I have hijacked your thread, KD, going on about mom. Best wishes for finding some peace with your boundaries and your family.