Hi Zelda. So sorry you are so sad at the moment. Christmas always throws the light on peoples true colours and troubles. I speak from some experience about accepting our difficult parents. One day after years of trying to put it all together and make things right I realized, light bulb moment style, that my father in particular had never fully grown up. Like a voice in my head I coined this phrase `just because they are parents doesnt make them grown ups' I had to accept that at 27 yrs his junior I was wiser. In fact many a time you see older headed children belonging to immature parents. Immature as in they cant deal with themselves and put others before them, even if thee others are children. My parents were both alcoholics for different reasons and all the trimmings that go with it.

Other than that your Mum may have some undiagnosed MI/PD. Kind thoughts to you. Be proud you got through. Please dont beat yourself up. She is one person not the world. You sound like a kind thinking caring person. Something she has yet to learn.