My heart goes out to. You have had a rough time and now are trying to come to grips with an elderly lady who was and is abusive to you and your husband. I am very sorry that you have been put in this situation. I hate to say it though it probably wont do much trying to get everyone to understand how horrible she was to you. Perhaps your sister took take the burdan for you. You did half maybe she can do the other half of it. If she refuses talk to your husband and tell him you feel trapped, maybe he has a plan or some idea. I am schooled at an assisted living facility, i know family members who just dont bother with their family anymore..im guessing they are now the states problem. I wouldnt suggest this however, I dont really know what else advice to give you im sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck my friend. PM me anytime