Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay
I'm not an advocate of the inner child theory. We are all adults here. We walk around as wounded adults. It may sound harsh, but we don't get "do overs" and that phase of our lives, albeit not perfect, is over.
We live in the now, as responsible adults with efficacy over our own lives.
I know those who, without a diagnosis of dissociative disorders, actually do pull out parts of themselves and give them names.
I think this a wholly dangerous way to be. It separates from the present, divests responsibility, and, in my mind, delays recovery from old wounds. It puts the feeling part, and the responsibility for that healing, out of our control and onto a construct separate from us.
Without a doubt, we get to grieve our past and what we never had, but the child? That child is no more. It's us in Right here, right now. Living, working, feeling.
It's the adult that needs the help.
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You are absolute correct in saying we are all adults walking around as wounded adults. It is that wounded part we call our "inner child"; that part of us that responds unlike an adult in certain situations. It isn't something we can pull out of ourselves. It's just a label we use to identify that part of our self that causes us to act out in childish ways under certain situations. Another word for inner child is Ego. The Ego is that part of us that demands to have what we want when we want it. It lives in a fantasy world of greed. The Super Ego tries to calm down the Ego, letting the Id (the adult self) function in an age appropriate manner.
I'll give you an example. When I feel someone is abandoning me (they may not be but I feel they are), I get angry and push them further away. That is my "inner child" (child like behavior) attempting to avoid an unrealized event.
The US that is right here, right now is all 3. The key to healthy behavior is having a balance between all 3. It is only when the Ego (inner child) takes over that we find ourselves feeling anxious and develop mental disorders.