Suzy, how about an update? When you went back to therapy again, did you talk about this? How are you doing now?

From your original post, I thought it sounded like your T just thought that exercises from a book wouldn't help your self-esteem as much as actual therapy. It didn't sound like your self-esteem would never improve. I love books, and I use lots of books, and I think that they help with a lot. I also 'get' what the books are saying. But when we 'get' something, that usually is a thinking mode rather than feeling mode. Self-esteem isn't intellectual. You can understand all the positive things about you and acknowledge that people think highly of you, and do all the exercises in the books, but if you don't ***feel*** it, it isn't going to do much for your self-esteem. That's what my T is trying to get me to do too, I think. Even if I talk about feelings, I often start with "I think ..." so she called me on that last week because that is thinking language, not feeling language. When I do exercises from a book, I can do the exercises and understand the concepts, but I very rarely feel it, so it's just another exercise, and if I share it with T she will make me keep doing it over and over and I'll get mad because I 'get' it already, but she's right though because I don't feel it. Does that sound like you too?

Rap