I deal with depression and adhd. I think I'm doing pretty good, but the past few days are being very hard for me. I don't take any therapy or treatment.

I'm in a relationship with a man who has issues with revealing. He always lived kind of a double life, and he is a liar. He always tries to hide something, where he has been, with whom he talked, or even what he does for a living. I was the exact opposite when we met, I always talked about everything with everyone, I trusted my friends and my family.

A couple of years ago we went trough some tough times, and he got totally pissed of because I talked about us and our problems with other people. We've gotten into a lot of fights because of that, and eventually I stopped to talk with other people. He also kept talking about how my friends are jealous of me and how my parents and family don't help me enough. So I slowly cut my other relationships of, and also agreed with his "observations". For a long time I was convinced I did the right thing, although he never supports me when I struggle.

When I get depressed he gets very annoyed with me. He then often just works a lot, or even goes out with his "friends", who now nothing about him. I'm alone a lot because I work at home, and usually it doesn't bother me at all, but when I get depressed it's being hard not to have anyone around and to talk to.

I became like him a bit, and everybody thinks I'm not just okay, but great. I usually think I don't need anyone because people don't care anyway. In the past I also discovered that my friends weren't really honest with me and didn't tell me everything (as I did). But then I wonder, did I really tell everything, and did I really care? Maybe we are all dishonest at least a little bit.

I would love to learn how to cope with my issues just by myself. Mostly I am able to manage it, and it seems to me I do get better, but then there comes a time, when I'm afraid I'm just burying everything inside me, and eventually it's gonna explode.