I was about 25 years old. I was working delivering room service in a large hotel in Nashville, Tn. I had switched from second shift to first and was trying not to drink anymore since I was depressed. I delivered an order. Something about the man at the door set me off, and I don't know what it was. Maybe a smell or a maybe he reminded me of someone in my childhood. I went to the employee locker room and screamed and cried, scrunched in a corner. I didn't know it was Bipolar. I had no clue what it was.

I was diagnosed Bipolar I, Depressed when I was 40. I'm about to be 51. I'm on medication for it. Life is hard. I am lonely and depressed. My family has pretty much abandonded me. I am not invited to meet with them, and they do not come to see me. I have an 18 y.o. daughter who lives with me. She is somewhat helpful but can be very verbally abusive, a product of growing up in a verbally abusive home, which we left in May of 2011.

No antidpressant has worked for me without intolerable side effects. I have tried many through the past 11 years. I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and arthritis. This cold weather is crippling.