You know, I was thinking about what personally attracts me to a woman, and it truly isn't looks. I believe a guy can be physically attracted to a large variety of women, at least initially, but without the mental (and in turn emotional) connection and stimulation of good conversations, fun experiences, and a feeling of understanding amongst each other, that attraction becomes fleeting. Similar interests can help, but aren't required (in my last relationship we had very little in common with our interests, different taste in movies, music, hobbies, etc..) but she did challenge me intellectually and she always took steps to help me become a better and more confident person. Our connection and conversation was such that we could feel like we understand and were understood very well, which I think is a cornerstone to a long lasting relationship. Guys (and girls) I feel want to feel like they're thoughts and feelings are being appreciated and understood.

I think it can be difficult to find the person you're looking for if you don't also step outside your comfort zone and show you have an interest in that someone as well. Sometimes you can't wait for them to come to you with their interest, you must also seek them out from time to time. If the guy you're looking for is anything like me, he may really like you, and find you attractive, but find it difficult to bring it to your attention. I know I have huge problems talking with women, even talking with a girl who's in my circle of friends can be difficult, it took me months to say more than a sentence to my best friend's girlfriend (who later became his wife) and I still find myself tongue tied from time to time around her. So it's always possible there are actually many guys around you that find you attractive and would like to talk with you, but just haven't gotten up the nerve to do so, and unfortunately, again if they're anything like me, you may have to make the first move if you're interested in them. I know when I meet a woman I end up liking, she is often is the one who's initiated conversation with me, her interest in what I have to think and say causes me to take notice of her, and perhaps over time even become attracted to her.

Sometimes though the best, most loyal, most interesting and caring people are not going to be the one's who seek you out for conversation and a number at a party, they may be the one's who are too shy to approach you. Sometimes a guy will try to show his interest in you through things he does for you, ways he tries to go out of his way to hang out with you, or help you out whenever he can. This may be his way of showing that he really likes you and is even attracted to you. So in the end it may take you getting outside of your own quiet shyness to find the person you will truly enjoy being with. Just a thought.

I hope this helps in some way, I'm by no means an authority on how to seek out people who'll be interested in you (I can hardly do that for myself), but I know in my experience the best relationships I've had were with women who made me feel better about myself, brought an energy to our meetings/conversations that was positive and genuine, and who I could see myself having fun with doing absolutely nothing at all but just being together.