Thanks Willow. It's just so frustrating! I'm running out of patience with the whole thing. Right now talking has been difficult because of the whole "poverty of speech" thing flaring up for me lately, but it does help to have somewhere safe to go to talk about things or to just be even if I can't say much. I think saying that anything, MI or not, is "all biological" is a stretch. Even if it is all biological it doesn't mean we're somehow not human and don't need support just as much as the next person sometimes.

Thanks. Yes, I have a therapist but I don't think she is taking me seriously that I have a tumor. I'm thinking she thinks I'm delusional. I texted her today and told her I'm stressing out because I have to go for a colonoscopy checkup on Monday, bake cookies all day Tuesday, drive an hour to see the endo Wednesday to go over my crazy lab results and then drive another hour to see her thereafter for our therapy appt. She blew me off by saying she thinks I'm doing fine. I think if I was really fine I wouldn't have texted her that I was stressing out in the first place. SMH.

But, yes, I do have you all here on Psych Central for support. Thank you to you and everyone else here. I also have my two housemates. Well, I only told the retired teacher housemate but not Ms. MBA. I'm sure my housemate flapped his gums to Ms. MBA, but I could be wrong.

I need to go take a shower and then go to WildDivineOnline.com and meditate. Maybe that will help bring down my stress level.

My anxiety is really bad right now. I am feeling nauseated. The last few days have been rough on me. I failed my first exam, something that has never ever happened to me before.

Every November depression enters into my head. This year it is bad and has been interfering with school and motivation. It has gotten to the point where I don't feel like doing anything at all. Now, I am thinking about getting an exam deferral and taking the next semester off.