I have been there at times in my life and it is so hard. I use a journal regularly to help me ground myself. But then I like to write and find it soothing to do. At times I have called a crisis line just to talk to someone. They take all kinds of calls, not just suicide prevention so if they have time they will listen and interact. Just give a false name and say anything. Sometimes that helps lift the burden. Posting here will give some support as well.