Unfortunately, I can't throw away or forget my desire for mother love. I try to live with it, but the closeness of a family is something I have always longed for. I don't resent people who have it, I am happy for them. But I am unhappy for myself. I know I am not the person my mother wanted for a daughter and when I was less depressed, it didn't bother me as much. But now that her time on earth is limited, I am sadder and sadder that we could never have that bond that comes so naturally to cats and coyotes.