I am just angry with everything and I have no inspiration. I see posts on Facebook that are all hearts and flowers and how grateful people are for things and it makes me angry. Then I get more angry with myself that I am not grateful for things. I don't like my life right now but there is nothing really wrong with it. I have the things I need yet I am still angry.

My husband is angry all the time too and he yells at the kids and pets and no one has the energy to do anything. Everything is a chore and my house is a mess.

I worked really hard to get better and get off my meds but I am afraid I made the wrong decision. On meds I was comfortably numb. Now I feel everything and I am angry.

I won't go back on meds unless I lose my mind and am forced to. People would have to commit me and inject me to get me back on meds so that is not up for discussion.

I want to have another child, but I am not sure my husband wants to even though he pretends to. He just puts up a wall between us and is tired all the time. He also has referred to me as a B-word, though I made a big deal about that and he hasn't for a couple of weeks. I know what he thinks of me, though.

I guess I am just unhappy right now. There isn't much to do about it but I don't want to pathologize my life and assume all this is bipolar.

I am trying to start a health coaching business but I don't feel particularly healthy right now either mentally or physically. I am feeling like a fraud and a failure.

Sorry to not be here for a while, and then dump all over you all. Just shows what a crappy person I really am.