I like to think that I don't really owe it to anybody to be a "life success". I might get down on myself about it sometimes, but don't feel like I'm letting down anyone but me so I don't have to feel guilty.

When life gets hard it can be a feat just to keep your head above water sometimes. On my post you said you get out of bed every day so you can keep your job and your life won't fall apart - even that is something worth feeling proud of. If you think you have AvPD then that's obviously pretty hard for you so doing it is a hard-fought accomplishment that you really work for.

I try to be generous and kind to people most of the time - I think that as long as you are generous and kind with others as a rule then you shouldn't have to feel guilty because that's the only important thing to do in life as far as I'm concerned.

I know I have SAD/panic disorder/depression (and almost sure of AvPD), but I have considered a whole lot of other potential diagnoses and spent a lot of time reading about a lot of disorders on the internet so I know how that goes... hope you find one that you think fits so you can begin to understand your problems better.

Maybe see a psych if you can. I suck on the spot and am much better at communicating through writing, so I like to write stuff down to have a psych or therapist read right off the bat. It takes some of the pressure off and writing stuff down can help you think it out before you go the the appt too. Write five pages if you want - it will only take them about 5 minutes to read and they will appreciate the background info to help kick things off.

Sorry for long post - I always ramble when typing. Hope it was helpful, good luck.