I would recommend talking to a counselor or close friend about your feelings. Keep talking about them until you reach the point of acceptance. The key to resolving the feelings is accepting the situation for what it is and realizing that its beyond your control. I am not saying its easy or that it will happen overnight but the goal with any negative emotions is to work through them and accept the situation that has brought them about. You will also need to work on forgiving yourself. You are being hard on yourself. Everyone has those type of feelings at some point in life. The key is not to stay there. Even journaling your feelings may help if you keep a journal. By all means find someone you trust to talk to about it so they can help you work through them. You will get through this - will just take a little time ! Hang in there and thanks for sharing !!!