l think for me, l will always have these thoughts and images. I think what my T is trying to do, is to get me to separate from them, so they don't "get me". Like a "brain scar", that when l notice it, l can just think, oh yes, there's that scar again, rather than being afraid of it. l can see how that could work, but at the moment when the thoughts are there, they are still too powerful and floor me. l read a lot of book and quotes by Paulo Coelho and that helps me through some of the darkest times. You are not difficult, none of us are, it is just about finding the right person to help us. The ones who have "given up" on you, just don't have the right skills. l tell myself l am not difficult and know it is hard to believe it. Soup