People have helped, but I *feel like I* stink at directing them to what I want done, and I *feel like I* just get in the way, so it doesn't get done the way I want. The focus needed to be on making the house look decent to show it, but they fixated on putting stuff in boxes. Now there are boxes everywhere (unmarked and full of junk that I needed to throw away) and garbage scattered all over, and shelves didn't get cleaned as the stuff was packed. They threw away things I wanted to bring to the new house, and packed things I don't want, and *I feel like* it is all my fault because I *feel like I* was worthless at explaining what I wanted.

This time DH went down too. I wanted him there to see what needed to be done still, and also I wanted him to go through his stuff (which still hasn't been hardly touched in probably almost the two years we lived there), and identify what he wants and what he doesn't. But we left the kids at the new house and needed to get back to them, so all we managed was to grab a few of the things we have been wanting to have up here, and the house looks no better than it did. I think I need to be going down there at least every other weekend to work on it, and I'd better not ask for any more help because I *feel like I* don't handle that very well.

I may just take my dog with me though, for company. I feel so lonely and lost and disconnected when I go down there. I mostly need people to come and help because I need the contact with somebody, but I *feel like I* need to get the work done myself, and I (am) *feel like* a disorganized mess.

Now I am going to go back and add "feel like" and try to reframe some of my absolutes - Sky, thanks for that hint. Okay, that was a bunch of edits (marked with * around the edits). I guess I really do have a tendency to see the negative stuff about myself as absolutes too.

(((((((((Candy))))))))))) Thanks for the validation! Yes, the family is moved. I just wish the whole job were done and done properly, and the house sold (but I don't blame anyone for not buying it the way it is right now) and we could relax and enjoy it.