Sorry. I know this is a really hard thing to break, the cycle of contact. But maybe if you take some baby steps toward doing that, it will be easier on your heart and mind too.
It is a choice you are making, so maybe put in place some rules for yourself like, no contact for the next hour. Be VERY busy for as long as possible so you aren't tempted to break your own rules. Build from there.
You know you are driving him away with this, so maybe work very hard to stop.
I wish you only the very best as you find your footing on this slippery slope.