Wow, I have been away camping and fishing with (supposed) BF and I come back and considered writing a post on BPD and alcohol and read this post instead...

...After a lot of sun, exhaustion and downing a bottle of white and then a bottle of red, (which I know very well not to combine the two) I had one of my "meltdowns" bf was unresponsive and I couldn't handle it. I spun out.. I was begging for him to do anything to make it stop.. Hold me, tell me I am going to be ok, tell me you love me, just HOLD me! but he wouldn't all he could do is tell me I am an F$@ head and I should grow up.. which made it worse.. now we are not really talking..

I find alcohol creates a channel where I don't monitor what I say.. and stuff just comes out and I don't care. In fact I feel relief that I can get it out of my head.. but at what cost..?

I drink alone, often because it helps me with my art, music and writing.. If I drink with others I get smashed and jump in a cab or walk home...I don't tell anyone I am leaving and they all freak out. I should come with a disclaimer....

Thanks for sharing..