going through so many painful experiences as of late... it is so difficult dealing with so many issues coming at you at a constant pace that you cannot keep up and deal with especially when your mental state is compromised due to depression and abandonment issues! I am completely overwhelmed, constantly being bombarded right and left every second of the day it seems with one issue after another...
I don't know how 2 stop the madness especially dealing with my fragile health condition ... I am completely wiped out I don't really take care of myself because...
I am so busy putting out fire after fire...with 1 of my four children or my 3 grandchildren or unstable sister who sI's or tries to OD all the time ...I am so ....sscared every moment of every day! I am getting into a very very deep manic depression due to the fact that's all these issues are going on Plus I'm going through a divorce and my soon to be ex husband Keeps trying to interact with me periodically making me think that he misses me and might want to work on our marriage then I don't hear from him for months and it's like the pain is fresh new and overwhelming! I finally finally last night got the confirmation that I needed to hear he finally after two years told me that he will or doesn't have any feelings for me llike he use to like a husband should have for a wife...
it hurts so so so bad but now I could get rid of this fantasy of thinking that maybe one day maybe one day he'll realize I'm the one that he needs to spend the rest of his life with that he's made a mistake by leaving me and filing for divorce yeah right ok ..so sorry for rambling I am just hurting so badly and my body does not feel right right now I'm scared that I might not be here that much longer as the doctors have told me it's just a matter of time.