I'm the same way. I hibernate and don't want to talk when I'm in a bad place. And even when I might feel like talking the idea of calling a crisis line makes me fear that they will take control of what I want to do (SI or SUI) away from me. I am seriously thinking of at least calling the next time I want to SI.

This past Saturday, I called the NAMI Warm Line, explained I wanted to cut but was not suicidal. Told them I had taken a normal amount of Xanax and didn't know if I would cut before they kicked in. The person on the other end basically wrote 'Well sounds like you are doing the best you can." and that was it. Not much help!