She told me this now because she doesn't want to be handling my emotions for me and then suddenly cut that off and put me back in the abusive environment for three weeks.

Exactly this.

My parents never met any of my needs beyond just making sure I was fed and clothed. I never expected them to do anything but hurt me but I always felt this hole in my heart that they should have filled. I didn't cry out for my mom when I was scared because my mom didn't take my fears away. She was the one scaring me. Please don't try to relate my feeling of loss to a "normal" parent situation because it is not. It has nothing in common with that because it is by nature the absence of parents. My T tells me this all the time. No parent can fully take care of their child. Well I was never even partially taken care of so how on earth am I supposed to feel better about that?

You can't feel better about it; it's a loss that needs to be grieved. But regardless of what was true before a loss, the reaction to the loss is much the same for everyone. We may bring different tools with us to meet the loss, but the pain of the loss itself is no different. I'm not minimizing your pain, just suggesting that everyone suffers pain, and there's no reason for you to burden yourself with the additional pain of hopelessness about your feelings.

People can access feeling loved and nurtured by their parents internally. They grew up with that and had years and years of time to experience being totally taken care of and then leaning how to take care of themselves slowly. I have had two months with my T. Granted, it was a lot of hours with her, but it is not nearly the same. How am I supposed to access something deep within that I don't have? People say "you gotta learn". How? "You got to learn to love yourself". How? How can I know how to love myself when the love I experienced growing up was strictly conditional if at all?

You can't somehow feel love for yourself until you've experienced receiving love. Lucky people get that from their parents. Some never get it anywhere. You have experienced it with your T--don't discount that. Build on that experience. Look inside to summon up the loving experiences with your T. You do that by remembering moments, replaying them in your mind, letting the warm feeling you get exist and grow, rather than blocking or discounting it. With practice, the experience will get stronger. Let it be completely separate from any thoughts or feelings of what you didn't get from your parents because those feelings are so much deeper and stronger that they will overwhelm you otherwise.

[EDIT] just wanted to clarify that I am not at all angry at FKM. I'm just seriously frustrated with an abstract idea I don't understand and really probably don't want to understand.

I understand you're frustrated. And the frustration will pass. And I think saying you may not want to understand is really insightful. You've got a lot of righteous anger that needs a voice, and you're heading into a situation where you can't voice it. Extremely stressful. Can you use the internal sense of comfort to help you put the anger in a box until you return? Until you can safely experience it?