I'm so sorry what you went through and I'm glad you stood up to that social worker. I wish I had the guts to do that. I know how awful it is to be blown off and dismissed by the people that should be helping you. Give yourself a break. Do something you enjoy. As my mother says, No one is going to die if you don't clean the house. I feel the same inability to move on a lot of days. You're not alone. Please don't kill yourself. Those a-holes aren't worth losing your life over