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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
I guess the bigger point of this is that what's the point of working on yourself and your self-esteem if it's going to drive the people you like AWAY? It would improve my self-esteem if I got my doctorate. When I do though, I better find someone else who has (or is getting a doctorate) because it's already going to be awkward if I marry anyone as we'll have different last names. (I refuse to change my name because I'm published under that name.)
Everything about me is a deal breaker. Especially with me. I refuse to change my last name. I refuse to wear a wedding dress or any dress for that matter. Basically, by me being myself, I will turn a straight guy either bi or gay.
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Why would you having your doctorate be awkward? I understand that there are men who are "intimidated" by intelligent women, but the truth is ... I've never met a guy who was truly intimidated by intelligence or strength in a woman. Those same men we are talking about are controlling and will only date women that they have some kind of power over, be it intelligence or physical strength or whatever. You don't want anything to do with them anyway, but there are plenty of great guys that only have Bachelor's degrees or diplomas.
As far as a wedding dress, I wouldn't worry about a wedding at all if I was you and your spouse. Spend the money on a honeymoon, it's more fun and less stressful and you'll have more fond memories.
I will admit though, that the no name change would honestly give me pause. And that's just my own little thing. The reason being is that I have a need to feel like a couple in public. I told my wife when we got married that I didn't have anything (seriously, a pot and a pan and a plate) and that the only thing I could offer her was my name. It would personally make me feel like you were intentionally separating yourself from me publicly and would be alienating.
But again, that's just me and I'm sure with good communication it could be worked out easily.