Wow, your story sounds a lot like mine.

I have talked to a lot of Avoidants from all over the world. All their stories are pretty similar.

Its a bit like that old TV show Dragnet. The names change to protect the innocent, but the stories are all pretty much the same.

Of course, I am not saying that your story, or anyone's, is not important. But this is one area where we are weak. We are told, and we think, that we are all alone. We are freaks, everyone else is normal and can have relationships. marriages, and friends. But we cant because we are messed up.

Well this is a lie!!

The truth is that there are a lot of people all over the world that suffer from this. The truth is that we can overcome and be successful.

Now having said that, let me tell you my story a bit.

I have had more jobs that I can count. I would say its in the 100's. I get bored easily. That had a lot to do with it.

That plus working for a paycheck is not what I am meant to do. In the words of the Keymaker from the Matrix, "We are all here to do what we are all here to do"

I am active outside of work, but I still have to work full time to pay the bills, but at least I have a vision and a goal.

My goal is to get away from having to work for a paycheck and work for God full time. I think for Avoidants, this is vital. Even more vital than with "Normals".

We need something to look forward to. A goal. The old saying is that if you aim at nothing, this is exactly what you will hit.

As far as your being out of work, on that one, Id say to get out there. Your wife is right!!

Get a job. I know you hate it. But you have to work and support your family. To not support your family is to be worse than an infidel.

Plus not working will only make it worse. The longer you are out of work, the more lazy you will become and the more rejected you are going to feel as a man. God created us men to be the providers for the family. When we don't fulfill our roles, things suffer,

I would recommend that you find a job, even a mind numbing one, then find an outlet for your wanting to help others and support them.

Your wife is at her wits end because you are not being the man and providing for your family. This is your responsibility. She can work too, but its your main role and responsibility to get out there and support them.

In addition to the financial support, it makes your family feel like you are fulfilling your role and taking care of them. To not do this is like saying that you dont care about them.

If you cared, you would get out there and find a job!