Wow! Your wife sounds like an absolute joy to be around...

If I treated my bf that way, even occasionally,I'm sure he'd be lonnnng gone by now.

Frankly: You.deserve.a.medal!

I'm glad she's agreed to therapy, and I hope her efforts are sincere, because you really deserve to be treated like an equal, valued humanbeing instead of a subordinate emotional punchingbag.

Ps. Her perception is flawed, your relationship is imbalanced and her behaviour unnacceptable. Not healthy or normal and heading toward toxicity.