Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
Why would you having your doctorate be awkward? I understand that there are men who are "intimidated" by intelligent women, but the truth is ... I've never met a guy who was truly intimidated by intelligence or strength in a woman. Those same men we are talking about are controlling and will only date women that they have some kind of power over, be it intelligence or physical strength or whatever. You don't want anything to do with them anyway, but there are plenty of great guys that only have Bachelor's degrees or diplomas.
As far as a wedding dress, I wouldn't worry about a wedding at all if I was you and your spouse. Spend the money on a honeymoon, it's more fun and less stressful and you'll have more fond memories.
I will admit though, that the no name change would honestly give me pause. And that's just my own little thing. The reason being is that I have a need to feel like a couple in public. I told my wife when we got married that I didn't have anything (seriously, a pot and a pan and a plate) and that the only thing I could offer her was my name. It would personally make me feel like you were intentionally separating yourself from me publicly and would be alienating.
But again, that's just me and I'm sure with good communication it could be worked out easily.
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I'm just thinking from my perspective…I would be uncomfortable being with someone with a doctorate and I only had a masters, but that's just me. And the only thing I could think of that's "wrong with me" is that I'm intimidating, but if it's that unlikely that a guy would be intimidated by me in any way, then I'm very confused as to what's wrong with me.
And I don't plan on having a fancy wedding, but pretty much every male I've ever been interested in owns their own tux, so it wouldn't be too unreasonable to wear tuxes. As for a honeymoon, I don't know if there would be any options I would be comfortable with. I'm uncomfortable wearing a swimming suit so any place tropical is out. I have a very specific diet meaning long plane flights are out, cruises are out, pretty much any place that serves its own food is out. So I guess we just stay home and take a couple days off of work, if we're employed anyway.
I wouldn't be so adamant about keeping my name if I wasn't published and my parents being mad that I'm female and therefore the family name would die with me. I don't know if I'll have kids, but if I do, one of them should probably have my last name. But that's beside the point. It would be confusing to publish under one name then suddenly under another. Most composers are male so they don't have that to worry about changing their name. If someone had married me at an age that everyone else gets married, this wouldn't be a problem. But of course no one was interested when I was younger, so it is what it is now. Unless I change my name, but continue publishing under my old name perhaps—as I'm sure I would have published many more pieces, maybe even some literature by the time someone deigns to even date me, let alone marry me. At this point, I'm not even sure I want their name at this point.