the whole thing just makes me sick.
first of all he said he prob will lower the haldol in a few months or spring

THEN 1 month letter it UPs it.

i hate medicine.

honestly i guess i wont be telling them whats really bothering me anymore. cause effing time i did theyd increase the dose. or like how they put me on 2 APs.

AND THE REALLY SAD PART OF THAT IS in 2010 i denounnced psychiatry BECAUSE i was drugged up so much. i quit for 2 years not seeing a psych or therapist or anyone.and THIS time around -2 years or so later - i WAS trying to put my trust back into them and do what they say...because im struggling...

but now i dont even think i can again.
but then again i cant get away from them for many reasons. one being disability and just other sh_t.

it just makes me so mad. i want to cry.
it just makes me psychologically SICK because im feeling not to trust them anymore. because of ALL THIS. they are sick F_CKS.

i TOLD the doc i cant swallow/eat/drink food. he said "put it in a blender and drink it"
i was thinking wow thanks. you gotta be out of your F_KING mind man.