Ive had problems in my workplace since I started there a few years ago and this year, a few months ago things just got worse. I didnt bother posting. I didnt know what to say. I have to now as Im really kind of talking out loud to people I hope will listen like a counsellor.

I have to work. I have no other support. I work in a fast paced noisy enviroment. I dont think the job itself would be so bad if the company controlled the staff properly. The staff are all inter related except me. I was brought in to scoop up all the overtime they were all sharing. I work both sides to the day (its nature means its 24/7) I am skilled to do both and I know I do my job well. Im beyond reliable and flexible. Punctual, polite, friendly. It has never made any difference. Im not one of them and they have made me suffer. I never know where I am there. I work with all different teams and types of people. Basically Im like the agency staff yet Im not as Im fully employed by the company. In a way the messiness means I have duality, to cope workwise and people wise. So theres the positive.

The negative is that no one there really ever accepts me, resents my hours, resents I get to work good shifts as well as the night ones. I get pushed out and isolated, I get excluded from social happenings. I dont belong to any set or group. I dont get to work with the same people for more than a few shifts.The company lets everyone sort out there own problems with each other. There are different levels of heirarchy based on time with the company and if you are `in' with management. Sadly none of these are the result of you being good at your job. Its a hellish place. Im prone to depression and its making me very sad. I walk head down after a day in there and wont look anyone in the eye. I feel so inferior.

Im very down about this place.For example: I worked with 20 somethings this evening and they use me as a joke. Taking the mickey and sniggering ( despite my age -I could be their mother) Im not their type of person, their age group or from their areas and though Im good at my job they couldnt care less. Then tomorrow I will work with a different mix again and so on. I never feel the same 2 days in a row leaving there. if it was based on my work record alone theyd all be kind to me. and respect me. I know you will say leave and Im trying but its hard there are no jobs out there really.Thanks for reading.