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lizardlady · Dec 17, 2013, 09:44 PM

Haven't posted in this thread in ages. Thought I was doing OK, then the manure hit the turbine again. Some times I wonder if this is just what life is and I'm being a self-pitying whiner. Then I think that nah most of the rest of the world doesn't deal with this shite.

I had a horrid day at work today. Part of my job entails dealing with an attorney who represents the Departmenty of Juvenile Justice. The man is a certifiable a-hole. Years ago he got a bee in his bonnet about me and will do whatever he can to throw me under the bus. He did it again today. Our agency created a position to insulate counselors from his BS. That person and our boos both sat on their arses and let him attack me in court this morning. When I commented on it to my boss later in the day she blew me off.

I'm exhausted from long hours. I'm exhausted from bringing work home every night. I'm just flat worn out.

After court a co-worker started carping at me about something that happened a month ago involving her and my boss. I WASN'T INVOLVED IN WHAT HAPPENED, but she *****es at me about it every time we are together. Today I told her that the folks in management are meeting in January to work out a plan so what happened doesn't happen again. Then told her I plan to do whatever they decide we peons should do. She wanted to argue with me about that!

To cap it off I called a friend tonight who told me she was coming for Christmas. I've been planning dinner etc for that day. She told me tonight she's not coming until after Christmas. This person has a history of changing plans at the last minute. This shouldn't be a surprise, still I'm disappointed and frustrated. I would have made other plans for the day if I'd known she wasn't coming.

It's all added up and I'm feeling flattened. Part of me wants to crawl in bed, say f it and have a pity party. A very strong part of me wants to SI tonight. No worries, I won't, but dang the urge to make the outside hurt as much as the inside is strong.

I know myself. Given a bit of time to regroup I'll come up with a game plan how to deal, but the overwhelming urge tonight is to give up, give in and say f it.