So I've been trying to find the right med combo for over a year now. I am staunchly against being on an anti-psychotic although I've been on Zyprexa for more than a year. I've been itching to get off.

I can't help but think it might be doing something for me. Every time I try to go off of it I swing into a deep depression. Currently at 2.5mg and severely depressed. Recently being put on Depakote has caused me to feel uncomfortably flat for about 4 months. I feel overmedicated with poor results.

I just have no idea where the hell to go from here. Back up on the Zyprexa? Get rid of Depakote? I'm sure my doctor is as confused as I am. I seemed to have the best results with a Lexapro/Lithium/Zyprexa combo. Should I just accept the need for an AP and hope I don't get diabetes, breasts, absurd weight gain, or tardive dyskinesia?