Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
You worry a lot, don't you... I've been keeping up with your threads, you speculate about things that may or may not happen in the future, you worry before hand about what may go wrong and speculate about all the why angles as well.
Sounds like a very stressful way to live, I know I'd be much too high strung for my own good if it were me being worried all the time...
Infact, I was super high strung for quite some time, I didn't worry about the type of stuff you do, but I did and do still ensure I have contigency plans for every muck up imaginable.
Except now, I remember to live in the now, and anything present me cannot control is future me's problem. So I let her deal with that shyt while I enjoy myelf.
I hope you can learn to live in the now, embrace it, enjoy it, and make the most of it. Every moment spent worried, is a moment of joy wasted.
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Yes, I do worry a lot, but how can I not worry when I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do? I'm not financially independent…nothing is going the way it's supposed to.
I have an anxiety disorder and possibly a personality disorder (avoidant has been tossed around), along with the sort of depression that's usually mild to medium but never lets up.
I used to have my whole life pretty much planned out and so I always knew what the next step is, but now it's gotten fuzzy as things have not happened according to schedule. So my confusion and doubt has just caused more confusion and doubt…how could I not be worried?
People like to throw out the worst case scenarios out at me for no actual good reason. Apparently, they just like to see me panic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
There's nothing wrong with you. I can guarantee that. Finding someone that you can connect with at an emotional level can be very difficult. You sound like a very accomplished person and while I don't know your life, it sounds like you're also very busy.
Here's something that may be happening and can be very tricky to overcome. We can surround ourselves with a certain type of person, be it emotional vampires or crazy stalker girlfriends or,  , people who aren't interested in having a relationship with us. Personally, I surround myself with emotional vampires (of a sort). We all know that guy that always seems to find the crazy girlfriend that tries to kill him with a soldering iron or that person that is always the strong person in all their relationships. It's completely unconscious though, they don't mean to surround themselves with those types of people.
The tricky part is to find out why we are surrounding ourselves with those types of people and then figure out how to meet people outside that bubble.
My suggestion would be to not think "What's wrong with me that they don't like me?", but to think, "What is it about them that they don't like me." It's one of those "It's not me, it's you" type of things. You may find that once you find your way out of the bubble that you unconsciously surround yourself with, you'll find those people that are interested in you just outside the sphere of your current world.
I hope that makes sense ... having trouble typing  |
I don't know, I think there is something wrong with me as I've never been able to connect emotionally to anyone. Not my family, not friends, not even pets. I think I've probably bonded more with inanimate objects than I have actual living and breathing people/animals.
I surround myself with the people I want to be around/be friends with/date etc. That isn't the problem for me personally, although I'm sure it is for many others. The problem is that few of them that aren't married will be initially interested with me until I decide to try to be at least somewhat open and honest, and since I'm not "perfect" and have problems then I'm not even worth being recognized that I exist apparently. It's just ridiculous…the last guy I told that I essentially had a relapse (I believe I said "fell off the wagon"). I didn't mention what the addiction was (self-harm), but I'm obviously showing that I'm recovering, so could that really be the problem. I've also implied that I wasn't straight and apparently everyone forgets that there are sexualities between gay and straight. I didn't have the balls to come right out and say I'm likely somewhere in between, but maybe that's confused him? But that's two things there that could be considered "wrong" with me. Also, I was always the one to initiate conversation…I just sort of got tired of it and hoped he would come talk to me (or text me first). Apparently he won't initiate conversation unless I'm physically right next to him.
But this has been my entire life. Guys my age won't talk to me unless they have to, they're already married (so apparently I'm not a threat to them or something?), or they're near enough to me/I strike a conversation up first and they're just being polite I guess. Earlier in my life, that made sense, since I was fat and ugly, but I'm not fat and ugly anymore. Maybe I'm not super skinny yet, but I'm certainly not fat. And other than the self-harm scars, I'm not ugly. So I don't know what the problem is anymore…I honestly don't think it's other people. The way I was treated changed when I got less fat and became prettier. And no it wasn't a self-perception thing. I literally DID go from ugly to pretty.