Attachment sure does complicate things, doesn't it? No wonder sometimes it is easier to avoid it, dissociate, or even run away.

I don't think that you are making anything up. I am sure that your T doesn't think you are either, if he knows you at all. Why would anyone want to make that up? And as in control as you always seem to be, no wonder it is scary to think that one of the others might come out and act up. While the acting out itself may not be a necessary part of therapy, I do think that you understanding it and understanding why it happens is important. I don't know that it would be necessary for the others to make an appearance during a session, but if that did happen, I think that it would not be as bad as you fear. But then, that may be something that you should discuss with your T when you can - that possibility that you might switch. I think that part of what you may need to learn is to let go of some of your control.

I do wish you well. I hope that you can talk about what you need to, and feel good about it. I hope that you can maintain enough control, but also let go of enough to work though what you need to.

I learn so much from you. Thank you for sharing your struggles here with us.