Am now living with my sister (choice of that or hospitalization) in a new city - took a leave from work... quite stressful and have the urge to cry too much - it's embarrassing... luckily I like the psychiatrist I am seeing and she agreed not to hospitalize me right now, which is a relief... taking welbutrin - hopefully it helps - also taking ristoral for sleep - so many pills!! but I NEED to be stable again.... need to live again... need not to keep thinking of possible ways to end it all....