Hello,
Welcome to PC and I'm so glad that you got the courage to come back and talk to us.
Do you think it would help to write down all the things you are feeling when you go see a doc? I know I sometimes have to do that because I know I won't remember everything and sometimes it makes more sense to the doc to know everything he can about us.
The docs see people like you all day every day, so please don't think that you are the only one feeling like this.
How can you just get over it? You need help to do that and I am sure that a doc could help you.
It sounds like you are having severe panic attacks and depression. I'm no professional but I do know about both.
It could be a matter of going on a med or two to feel much better. Isn't that what the bottom line is? To feel better.
I wish you all the luck and know that we are here to support you, no matter what your decision is.
Hugs,
Boopers