((((((((((lightinthesky))))))))))
I'm so, so sorry for the terrible loss you're feeling right now.
I'm so sorry for the nightmare you're living.
I wish there was some way for me to reach out to you and take away the pain and sorrow that you're feeling. If there was such a way, I would freely do it without reservation and I would do it without delay. But... I'm sorry that that isn't possible...
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and memories...

I honestly know of the agony you are feeling, but there will come a day when every thought you have of him doesn't cut your heart like a knife. There will come a time when you can recall his face without wanting to cry. There will be a safe place in your heart that you can forever keep the memories of your time together. Cherish those memories and hold them close...
There will come a time when the memory of the pain and the sorrow and the loss you are feeling will be safely tucked away in that little corner of your heart as well...
Because those things are now forever a part of you. They are part of who you are.

Love did not fool you. You gave freely of yourself. You Loved... and you trusted that the Love you gave would be returned as it was given. Perhaps he was not worthy of your trust...? Oh, but Love freely given is never a ruse and never a waste and never a thing to regret. It is the most amazing, glorious, precious thing you can give to anyone... including yourself.

There will come a day when you will be able to look back on the Love you shared and will be able to remember and smile... That day will come.

Until then, you will feel the pain of leaning how to be a new version of yourself, one that has learned to be whole again in spite of and because of all the heartbreak and agony you endured...

THIS I know.

I send you my Love... and my compassion,
Dan