I can relate to this. The "it's no use" getting angry anymore sense I have about the past sometimes, even though I see and am working through how hurtful it was, is very different than the hopeful sense I have when T has "wronged me." I remember the angriest I've ever been at her, a couple weeks ago.

In my anger, I was not civil, but I was hopeful. "Step it up!!!" was the theme of my rant. I was critical, but it was definitely all the more passionate because I was desperately hopeful that she could be what I needed, rise to the challenge of helping me. (And she did!)