This is called Verbal abuse. I recommend the book which saved my life after 31 years of abuse: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I think it should be required reading for everyone on the planet, and especially....therapists!! Abusers are excrucatingly insecure and need to control. She is very angry and taking out her aggression on you. Until or unless she sees that and does the work to change....she will remain the same. Another excellent resource is Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

When you hear abuse....walk away; disengage...the abuser expects you to continually explain and defend yourself. Don't......it never ends. you can say: If you CHOOSE to speak to me disrespectfully, we will not have this conversation.

She will most likely continue to argue, etc......walk away......at some point you might want to consider shock therapy....as in......I cannot continue to live with you if you CHOOSE to be abusive. Abuse is a CHOICE.