You are very wise to not have children with this woman- I'd not be intimate at all so you can avoid that risk altogether. If she tells you you're selfish, remind her that you are not. Bringing children into an already troubled marriage is many times more selfish.

I hate to say this but I see leaving her as the only option. You are in charge of your own behavior - not your wife's. Unfortunately you cannot control her moods and irrational behavior and that is not your problem. You are being verbally and emotionally abused and no one deserves that. The most important thing to remember though, is the fact that she wants to have children and if you don't leave now you run the risk of her becoming pregnant. Once that happen everything changes and then this decision will have bigger consequences. Right now, you can leave, start over and cut ties fairly easily.

Good luck to you!