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Well I agree with what you keep telling yourself, some hand lotion would work just fine. But there is a deeper issue about sex in general. If your not seeing a therapist I would recommend you see one. If you can't be relaxed sexually when you are alone, I don't see how you could ever be open and relaxed about sex with another person.
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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