Yeah. I'm not actually convinced she knows where they are. No, I think she does. She's just decided not to be conventional. I think she is very confident in her abilities and likes to keep boundaries where she just intuits they belong as opposed to following a book. She has different boundaries with different clients. She won't talk to one client about her appearance or food at all while she finds no issue in asking me to shower. She'll mess around and joke with me and ask me to do small favors for her like reminding her of the time while she wouldn't do that with another client. She said she would never EVER take one client out shopping when she would love to do that with me if we had the time. It might mean that she feels closer to me and more maternal to me, but I also think it is because she feels I need help taking care of myself and I need to experience having an older woman mother me unlike this other client who needs to not have any attention brought to her appearance.

Maybe she wants to be a partial mom and I have a hard time with that idea. Maybe I'm just confused by the boundaries when I probably shouldn't be. She doesn't seem to think that feeding into my maternal transference is a big issue while she does think that me talking to her 24/7 and relying on her to manage my emotions is. I need to experience a healthy, normal mother/20 year old daughter relationship because at this stage in life, a 20 year old doesn't rely on their mother for constant emotional support. They find that support mostly within and T wants me to try and follow suit. I really don't know. I have trouble asking her because I don't want her to stop playing this part and I feel like she's telling me every day how she is defining this relationship but I just don't get it for some reason. I'm either thinking too hard or there is some sort of mental block. Or emotional block because I don't know how to accept being cared for without blurring the boundaries.