Watched funny videos, that was nice. Get rid of the distractions, though, and the thoughts come back. I'm going to slip up again, I know it. The stress is killing me. The stress of just living even. I'm just waiting for these days to pass... then we'll see. It doesn't look good. I'm being cryptic, I know. I've been feeling like I'll end up back in hospital for the past month or so. I can't live with myself. It's taking all I've got to keep myself together. The thoughts... the thoughts... they don't stop!