Hi everyone.

Last year, I took a psychology class and for the first time really learned what ADHD was. (Before, I just thought it meant a hyper kid, and I know a lot of people have that same stereotype). I never knew inattentive ADHD was a thing, but after learning about it, I thought "Hey, that sounds A LOT like me". Now, I know that when you take a class and learn about a disease or disorder, it starts seeming like you have everything. I think this is called "medical student syndrome" or something. So, I took it with a grain of salt, but I started doing more and more research.

Now, here I am, a year later. All of my research has only convinced me more strongly that I have ADHD. My boyfriend has been diagnosed and agrees that I might have ADHD. I fit just about all of the characteristics of ADHD in the DSM. My symptoms have been really getting in the way of school work. My grades have declined this semester and I was told I'm at risk for not being accepted into my program if I don't step it up. This is terrifying to me.

I know I should get help. My university has a counseling center where I can get a free appointment. My boyfriend has practically begged me to go because he hates seeing me torn up like this. I'm scared, though. What if they say I don't have ADHD? That there's no difference between me and everybody else? Then I'm just a lazy, unmotivated girl who can't focus and can't get stuff done. If I would just try a little harder, or work a little faster, or manage my time better, I'd be fine. I don't think I could stand to hear that.

What I'm trying to say, I think, is that I'm scared that the doctors will tell me I have ADHD, but I'm even more scared they'll tell me I don't.