You've completely missed the point of my whole post. I suspected you might.

Nowhere did i write that what she does or has done is acceptable, nor did i say she deserves sympathy or anything else that you've just written. What i was trying to say was that no matter how bad a job she did/does, it's her way, she thinks it's love as twisted as it is. I read a quote once that really really resonated with me and it went along the lines of
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have." Meaning people are sometimes very limited in how they are able to show or give love and some show love in the only way they can and sometimes that's via money. I have a parent the exact same in that respect. I too have pretty terrible emotionally neglecting and abusive parents and i've had to learn that they are just damaged people, limited in their abilities as a parent. But both would insist they love me or that they did their best. THey think they did, i know different. Some people just shouldn't be parents.

The main point which you've successfully ignored is that the healing needs to come from you. Only you can do it, only you can find acceptance and only you can decide how your life is going to turn out from here on in. Every decision you make or refuse make will only and directly impact you. You have to stop looking for mother figures, it won't make you happy and you'll never get what you truly want from a therapist. Trust me on this. You can rage all you want at me, or anyone else who challenges you on this matter but it does not change the fact that you need to stop indulging in a fantasy and start dealing with the reality, because until you do, you will flounder and you will feel miserable and desperate and like you're walking about with one big massive wound all the time. How much of your life you want to give to that is entirely up to you now.