Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
So much tone. But it's to be expected after I just erupted at you.
I don't care if she loves me with all that she has. I don't really know why this is even apart of the discussion.
I also am dealing with reality. If I wasn't aware of the fact that a therapist can't ever completely fill the void in my life, I wouldn't have made this thread or expressed concern about some of the things she is doing despite how much I enjoy it. I don't know where the boundaries should be and I actually never said anything about any part of your post other than the part that made me angry so how can you conclude that I was raging at you for telling me that my T can't solve all of my problems when I didn't even mention her? I don't read things in order and I started reading your post in the middle and got so heated by the statement about my mom that I didn't really read anything else if you want me to be totally honest. I saw the words but couldn't read them because I was boiling too hot.
I'm also not actively seeking mother figures. It's not like I'm literally thinking to myself "hmmm I am going to start viewing this woman as a mom". This just happens to me. My brain does this automatically and no one has offered any way to fix that beyond "you have to heal through yourself. You have to care for yourself". How? I literally don't know how to heal myself because if I did, I wouldn't be in therapy for six hours a day and then on a mental health at night. My T is attempting to teaching me how to care for myself by showing me care. I'm trying to heal through myself. Don't through me under the bus and say that I'm running away from reality just because I can't just snap my fingers and get over my issues.
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I was trying to impart my knowledge and experience of what you are going thru, in the hope that it saves you years and years of pain. What i told you, i wish someone had told me at your age. I probably wouldn't have been ready to accept it either but just having that information to ponder on would have helped me so much.
I can see that you are actively seeking mother figures from your posts, you were the exact same way about your old therapist if i remember correctly.I can conclude that you are raging at people and me in this post because to quote your own words;
"I'm sorry to just suddenly lash out a ton of anger at your post" Plus i detected so much tone from you too. You've lashed out at others in your threads when you don't like what is being said. and you admitted it yourself
" I started reading your post in the middle and got so heated by the statement about my mom that I didn't really read anything else if you want me to be totally honest. I saw the words but couldn't read them because I was boiling too hot."
So yes, i think you have deep rage.
I don't expect you to snap your fingers and be over it all, i have said that anywhere, i think in fact i've empathised with the hard journey you have ahead of you. But i have also seen you actively ignore posters who have offered similar views to myself. It seems you are not ready to hear what it is actually going to take to feel better. I am not throwing you under a bus as you put it, i don't have that power. You can take or leave my offerings of experience and knowledge, completely up to you.
Feralkittymom; I am not coming from a place of defensiveness or self-protection, i am coming from a place of realisation, acknowledgement, acceptance and a ton of experience. I have been in that place of looking for mothers and i have suffered it and come out the other side (with a lot more work still to do
).
My problem with the therapist in question is that she is clearly not getting thru to the OP precisely what the boundaries are or what the methods are she's using, what the expectations are etc etc. But i also realise we are only getting one version of what is actually going on.
Clearly i am not of any help on this issue so i'll take leave now.