I think you need to take a deep breath. Just because you don't get a diagnosis does not mean that you are "lazy and unmotivated". I don't think that having an appointment will be a bad thing. It's a win-win situation. If you are diagnosed, then you will have the relief of knowing what is wrong and you can start taking steps to improve aspects of your life that have been negatively affected. If you aren't diagnosed, then you can have the relief of crossing ADHD off the list of what might be "wrong". There may be another source causing your inability to focus and hopefully, whatever professional you end up seeing will be able to help you investigate further what might be causing it. Sure, it's not an immediate answer but it's not a bad thing.