1. Simply put, yes.
2. Also, yes. I had a lot of problems with self-harm and had to go on anti-psychotics for a while because of paranoia and stress. And I didn't have that stressful of a degree in comparison to the average person. A lot of the stress came from performance anxiety and dealing with having crushes on people. The first person I had a crush on in grad school terrorized me about it (it's a bit of a longer story than that, but that's not important) and so after that I would be so guilty/anxious about having a crush on someone that it would just be a horrible experience. But I have pretty much the same stressors outside of school…though maybe not on the same level. Or maybe my medication is a better mix, who knows?
3. The most stressful thing about nonacademic life is not being able to make money without doing something that will cause physical harm or will kill my soul. I considered not living past my masters because I have no life outside of that world. I may have friends now, but no way to ever be in a relationship or get a job that's worth staying alive for. My life has been a waste so far.

I guess I have a psychiatrist…but I don't remember if I see her before the deadline to apply for the degree. But all she does is make me feel more like an idiot because she asks about if I'm being paid yet for the job I was "hired" to do. Yeah, I'm not really allowed to do anything and then they changed some things and I had to go through the training again and I'm afraid it's not going to count if I do it again and I'll have to do it a third time and I've given up. And of course I'm not getting paid. Even if I had the certificate, I still couldn't make anything because certain positions have to be filled first…which are never filled.

So basically my only chance at a job is a scam, something that I have no knowledge or experience in (so I'm not going to be hired because employers are spoiled for choice), or something that takes little to no thought and no experience whatsoever. I would be afraid to be seen at a job like that only because everyone said I would be highly successful (just no one told me how except suggest that I get a doctorate).

I guess my biggest fear is getting a doctorate and still working as a cashier at a fast food place or something similar. Or still continue to fail at life in all the important ways…success to me is a job in my field that I've already spent 7 years at the collegiate level studying and getting married.

So no matter what I do it's probably both the right and wrong decision. I just wish I didn't have to be alive to make that decision. Or if someone would just tell me what to do and make me do that…or even better, have the support of a significant other which everyone I know around my age have the benefit of having. It's just really frustrating. I have to marry my job, so I'd better get a good job. I'm not sure I can do better than fast food without a doctorate or starting over and getting a bachelor in a completely unrelated field.