after having a good day the strain of the childrens behaviour took its toll, ended up feeling like %#@&#!, tried to hide but needed to get out and run so that is what i did, i said i wouldnt put myself in that postion again last time i sat alone in my car i did the unthinkable, lucky for me i couldnt find a layby with nobody in it, because i dont know if i could of controled the urges, i drove arond for about 20mins then returned parked the car and sat there with tears running down my face playing games on my mobile, tension running high here at the moment