Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
I can see how that is a struggle for you! When you attend religious events, have they talked about how it is wrong? (I'm not religious in any manner btw). Perhaps your T is trying to help you not feel so guilty over it because it is causing you a great deal of anguish. In your religion, can you ask for forgiveness? Can you speak to a religious leader about the struggle you are having? (I fully get that that may not be possible, but maybe it is and you are just not comfortable with that?). Is there perhaps a forum where you would be able to find others who are struggling with the same issue?
Perhaps you might want to try and talk to a T with a specialization in addictions about this issue for you. If you really wish to be totally abstinent, then I am sure that someone who works with addictions would be able to help you find ways to stop (and help you to forgive yourself). I do not think that you are addicted, and I personally do not find masturbation to be anything but natural, but if it is causing you such distress and you wish to stop, treating it like an addiction may help.
ETA: Thank you for being willing to share, I am sure that it was very hard to do! |
Ty for your response! The problem I face in the religion is when you try to talk to someone like a pastor, they have no idea what the anguish feels like because 99% of the time they do not struggle with this. There is no way for them to relate. I can ask for forgiveness, and I do, but it never does anything to fix my issue. It doesn't help that I am the kind of person that is so very conscious of my mistakes. I kick myself when I am down and tell myself how I am worthless. I know that is irrational thinking and it is yet another issue I am working on. There are just no resources in the religion which really pisses me off and makes me question at times if I should stick with the religion. And when you ask someone like a pastor, they seem to think that we are magically supposed to be able to stop with our vices and be perfect. It can make me so mad at times.
This is why I am turning to T. I don't know where else I CAN turn. I respect her morals, but I feel like it clouds her ability to help me in a similar way to the pastors in the religion. The whole topic makes me sick to my stomach to talk to her about in the first place and when you add the fact that I'm not sure she knows how to help me with it, it just makes a mess of sessions. I wish I could go to another T, but living in a small midwestern town, there aren't options. I also said before that this T is almost perfect for me in every other way. Oh my goodness I am so confused!
