Wow you guys, thank you. Thank you.
The metaphors, the onion, the singing and the need to balance all, with trust and confidence in my t. Yeah, you all are making an impact with me and are giving me much for thought.

Sunny, I DID feel betrayed after i finally worked through the trust issues to reveal some horrible things.

Sky, maybe I need to relenquish the need to control completely, although let her know that I feel unresolved with past issues and that, if she knows that, I'll have faith in any direction she wants to go...

Peg, The onion metaphor is great, yeah, I need to peel my dried and crusty outer layers, but the deeper i go, it gets so sensitive ya know? So, if I remember the balance (alexandra) maybe i can peel down to where i'm a little more shiny, but have strength in my under-layers to keep the preciousness sealed in there so it can heal.

I have a big problem with boundaries/control/balance. I often don't like ppl to do things if it isn't MY way. So, yeah my poor t has to meet me here a lot and i know i need to trust her and where she wants to take me.
I thought i spent a year and a half to build the trust and when i did, i wanted (to my surprise) to expel all the childhood crap and just dissecte the hell out of it. I'm an analyzer to the extreme...
So this therapeutic relationship thing is a biggee. I will not bail. I will do my best to trust and balance and revisit, if necessary when she leads me to.
Yes, i feel deep down, right now, that she's a keeper as well.
I will try not to ruminate-yes this for me, can be a negative, I usually live here-in rumination-land.
Instead of finding the negative, i will have faith that she knows better than i what she's doing.
Arghhh, you guys are helping me do POSITIVE things!
Cool.
Thanks.
Umm, Alexandra, thanks for the analyzing too. I really like your posts and you find insightful ways to look at things. I like how you present both sides. The perspective you've all given here is being weighed in my little brain....
So, I'll keep ya posted, I go in tuesday and I'm gonna try to keep positive and shut down those dwelling behaviors.